Turning 33

Today is my birthday.

Before you start celebrating and trying to put hats on my head, I have to say that my 32nd year was the perfect mixture of amazing and disastrous.

Amazing because my youngest son, Bishop, was born and I couldn’t be happier to have his existence. People tell me all of the time of how sweet he is, how attentive and curious he is, how he is just the most content baby they’ve ever had the pleasure of coming across. I love him with all of my heart as I do all of my boys.

Amazing because my wife continues to show me strength and love like I’ve never imagined before. She has stuck by me even through the worst parts of myself and I can’t possibly imagine how tough that can be. She has helped me grow stronger in my faith and relationship with Christ, and for that I’m immensely thankful. The start to 2019 has been an incredibly strong one for us after a tough second half of the year.

It was still disastrous on a number of levels simply because of my inability to get out of my own way in this past year. I’ve battled bouts of depression and uncertainty in myself in both my personal and professional lives. I’ve questioned my decisions and been unsure of my capabilities and capacity. I’ve made decisions I regret and decisions I wish I could take back. I became lost on my path to become the man I’m supposed to be, in God’s eyes and in my wife’s eyes.

I’m back on the path. I’m making strides everyday. I’m being more and more purposeful with my time and my decisions. I’m putting a significant focus on my family and my church. I’m working on projects that I’ve spent time thinking about, but never acting on. I’m getting back to the things that truly make me happy and allow me to be the best version of myself for the Lord, my wife, and my family.

As I embark on the next year in my life, I intend to make everyday count, to make sure that the darkness that clouded my life last year doesn’t return, and to truly grow and evolve as a man and leader of my house. I know I can only do that by surrounding myself with the right people. My wife, my family, they are my foundation and my rock, and I hope to make them proud over the next year as we continue to grow, change, and experience life.

I’m happy for my 32nd year on this planet. Bishop has brought so much happiness to our home.

I’m excited for the 33rd year on this planet to truly accomplish hopes and dreams I’ve long harbored in my heart and soul.

To my wife, Rebecca, I love you so much. Thank you so much for all that you do and I’m sorry every single day for the man I was last year. I could’ve and should’ve been a better man, you deserve that better man, and I will be that better man in the year to come.

Looking forward to sharing with everyone in this upcoming year.

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